


sugar

by hetdamon



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: Bottom Lauren, F/F, Top Camila, camila doesn't tell lauren abt her identity, camila is trans, english major lauren, it goes fine and then it turns shitty and then it gets better :), lauren is bi, she's also kinda transphobic but she gets better
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:48:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24140833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hetdamon/pseuds/hetdamon
Summary: "You don't remember me, do you?" He asked, his sugar brown eyes melting with softness and sadness and so much emotion that Lauren could hardly bear to look into them."No, I'm afraid not."
Relationships: Camila Cabello/Lauren Jauregui
Kudos: 26





	sugar

[big fat trigger warning for transphobia, homophobia, emotionally abusive relationships, negligent alcoholic dads, and dead moms throughout the whole book. happy reading!]

Lauren struggled to fit her belongings in her arms as she rushed down the stairs of her dorm, juggling her laptop, notebook, and phone in her hands. She was insanely late to her class due to sleeping through her alarm seven times, the familiar chime having evaded her senses as she slept. Although she had a reputation for never being on time, Lauren prided herself on always being punctual when it came to her education, yet this morning seemed to be the one exception. She had nobody to blame but herself, and that fact irked her to no end.

Lauren managed to make it to the door of her class just as the professor paused in his lecture, which meant the sound of her creaking entry caused every pair of eyes in the room to turn her way. Her cheeks flushed and she ducked her head down, hurrying to her seat. She could feel the color tainting her neck and crawling up to her ears, everything tinting red. She thought she'd seen the last of this embarrassment in high school; apparently not.

Once she had her laptop up and running and the professor had continued droning on about whatever physics bullshit he pulled off the internet, she glanced around. Few students were actually paying attention, but the boy sitting next to Lauren was dutifully taking notes, his curly mop of brown hair falling over his eyes as he scribbled unreadable words on the lined paper of his notebook. As if noticing the stare, he lifted his head, pushing his hair up to see her better. His chocolate colored eyes widened when they landed on Lauren, and he quickly turned back to his notes. What was that emotion that passed through his gaze? Fear? Anger? She couldn't be sure, because the beautiful eyes were only there for a second before leaving her staring at the flushed boy's cheek.

Lauren quirked an eyebrow. The boy was cute, no doubt, with a sharp jawline and scruffy facial hair that he managed to make look attractive, glasses sitting crooked on his face, and full lips with a cupids bow that made them just pouty enough.

She shrugged and started typing away at her keyboard, jotting down key points the professor was making, all the while ignoring the sideways glances the boy was giving her.

The three hour long lecture dragged on for what seemed like days with him staring at her, and when the bell rang, Lauren couldn't get out fast enough.

\----

Camila couldn't get out fast enough.

She heard him before she saw him, the sound of banging doors and slurred shouting startling her out of her nap on the couch.

Camila cursed under her breath and jumped up, glancing at the digital clock on the kitchen counter that read 10:36pm in bold red font. She hurried over to the hallway that was home to the two rooms the apartment held. She opened the door to hers, closing it as silently as she could, only just seeing a lumbering shadow pass by.

When the knob clicked into place, Camila let out a sigh of relief. She flicked the light switch and glanced around her room, reaching over to grab her phone off her bed. She clicked the screen on and cringed when she saw 10 missed calls from Lauren. She quickly typed out a message.

c: sry fell asleep b there in 5

A text came back almost instantly.

l: k.

Camila sighed and ran a hand over her face, turning off her phone and tossing it back onto her bed. She pulled her hoodie off the floor, tugging on a pair of sweats over her shorts. She checked the knob to make sure she locked her door and grabbed her phone, tucking it into her pants pocket before opening her window and climbing out.

Camila's bare feet hit the ground, and she immediately regretted it when she felt wet, cold mud rise between her toes, the sensation making her shiver. She walked carefully over to the sidewalk, avoiding muddy areas, and smiled when she saw the familiar red truck parked near her house. The headlights had been switched off, but she recognized the model anywhere.

She hurried towards the truck and tapped on the glass once when she reached it. The window rolled down, and Lauren was staring back at her.

"Hi." Camila breathed.

"Hey."

A click sounded, and Camila opened the door, climbing into the truck and closing them into the confined space once she was in.

"Sorry I was so late. I didn't mean to pass out on you, I just haven't been s-"

"You gonna sit here and blab all night or fuck me?"

Camila blinked, cheeks on fire at the proposition.

Even though it was something she'd done every time she saw Lauren, she would never get used to having the privilege of being with Lauren in such an intimate way.

"Sure." Camila said, sending Lauren a small smile that wasn't returned.

As Lauren climbed into the back seat, Camila's mind raced. Was she upset? It was always a 50/50 chance with Lauren, and tonight just happened to be the night she was in a bad mood.

Maybe it wasn't the best time to tell her.

"Come on."

Camila licked her lips, following Lauren into the back. The older girl was already tugging her shirt off, brandishing her naked chest to Camila.

Yeah, she was never getting used to this.

It happened when Lauren was riding Camila's fingers, bouncing on her lap with her head nestled in her neck and hands curled into Camila's hoodie. Camila is thinking about how good it would feel to have Lauren wrapped around her dick, swallowing her whole until all she could think was Lauren, Lauren, Lauren.

"I'm trans."

Lauren stops moving completely. It's like time had stopped all around, there's no crickets, no breathing, nothing, and it makes Camila's heart constrict tightly as she awaits Lauren's response.

"What?" She asks.

"I'm transgender. I'm a guy. I don't feel right as a girl." Camila clarifies.

It doesn't seem to help, because Lauren gets off Camila, puts her clothes back on and sits in the front drivers seat.

"Get out."

"What?" It's Camila's turn to be astounded.

"I said get the fuck out of my car, Camila," Lauren turns to stare blankly through her, "I can't believe I had your hands on me. Freak."

Camila bites her top lip hard, holding back tears. She nods, though, and climbs out of Lauren's car. As soon as her feet are on the ground, the door slams and the truck speeds off.

Camila doesn't make it to her window before she falls to the ground, head spinning and world crumbling as her only anchor flies away, following the truck and tugging her heart back to where Lauren had her hands all over her, didn't hate her. She curls her hand into her hair and pulls.

It takes time, but she finally manages to get off the wet ground, and by that time she's soaked. She crawls back into her room, falling on the floor, and after that she can't really recall much.

She remembers looking at the mirror in the bathroom before falling asleep, though. Wishing her long brown hair was short. That her chest was flat, that her ass was smaller, that her voice was deeper.

She hates everything about herself.

Apparently, so does Lauren.

\--

Lauren has never been more disappointed in herself.

She got a C+ on her physics test, which is two grades below what she usually gets. She could blame it on the cute boy that sits next to her, but that wouldn't be fair. It's her fault she hasn't been paying much attention in class, hers only. Not his. Not his curly dark locks, brown sugar eyes, veined hands leading up to muscled arms, disappearing underneath a tight shirt that didn't leave much of his body to the imagination. Any girl would be drooling at the sight of him, yet Lauren had never seen him with another woman. He was always alone, glancing around nervously on jittery legs that didn't seem to ever stop moving.

Lauren furrowed her eyebrows. This wasn't like her, she never spent her time fantasizing about boys. The last time somebody took up all of her thoughts, things had ended disastrously, so Lauren cleared the boy from her mind and tried to focus on something else. She grabbed her laptop off her bed and trudged towards her desk. During the two steps it took to get there, she'd managed to strip down to just a tank top and her shorts, letting the cold air bite at her pale skin. She set up her laptop and started Netflix, opening another tab to do an assignment while a random cartoon her little sister must've added to her list played in the background.

Lauren was able to get maybe a couple sentences typed out when the door opened, and she grit her teeth together. Her roommate was hardly ever at the dorm, but when she did drop by, it was hell for Lauren. Hours and hours of meaningless conversation and fake laughter, listening to her brag and brag about her mansion back home in Miami.

Her name was Meg, which suited her. She had red frizzy hair, but an elegant face, framed with makeup always eloquently done and an expensive outfit on. She somehow managed to make Lauren insecure every time she walked in the door, which almost never happened to her, considering she'd steeled herself off years ago.

"Hey, Meg." Lauren mumbled, but seconds passed and no response came.

Lauren turned to see brown sugar boy standing nervously in the doorway, his leg sliding against the frame.

"Hi. Um, Meg asked me to drop these off." He spoke with such tenderness, a voice faintly recognizable, but still so far out of reach.

"You can leave them on the bed with the pink sheets." Lauren said, watching him place them gently on the bed, then straighten, and then towards her.

"You don't remember me, do you?" He asked, his sugar brown eyes melting with softness and sadness and so much emotion that Lauren could hardly bear to look into them.

"No, I'm afraid not."

The boy seems to break down for a split second, quickly recovers, and smiles.

"My name is Connor. It was good to see you again, Lauren." He says, shifting on his twitching leg for a moment before turning and leaving the room, the door clicking shut behind him.

With the click of the lock comes a click inside Lauren's head. She'd never told him her name. He must have gotten it from Meg, which means the dirty rich bitch had set her up. Lauren groaned and threw her head back like she was having a tantrum. Of course it was only fair that Meg pulled a set up for her with the hottest guy at the college. She could've tried anybody else, but she went for Connor, with his sugar brown eyes and slight limp and cute worry lines etched along his forehead.

On second thought, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to be pushed and pulled like a puppet by Meg when it came to Connor. Lauren hadn't gotten laid since high school, and sitting next to the sweet smelling boy every day was truly taking a toll on her mental and physical health.

So Lauren picked up her phone and sent Meg a text, a small smile stuck to her lips like glue the whole time.

l: thx 4 the setup he's hot as fuck

m: huh

l: connor?? u sent him up to the room to butter up to me

l: i know i haven't seen any1 in a while but tht doesn't mean u can rub it in my face

m: i don't know a connor???

l: huh??

m: im jk

m: hes an old friend and we hung out earlier today

m: i left my charger at his dorm so i had him drop it off

m: anyways im abt to go see a movie w jake so ill see u later

l: ye thx

m: np! have fun with connor dude hes hot

Lauren decided not to respond, instead setting her phone on the desk, folding her hands in front of her.

Connor knew who she was, and Lauren didn't know him. She's sure she'd remember a face like that, chiseled and soft at the same time, clear and glowing as if recently rubbed with a light bulb.

She decided to play along though, see where it could take her. It surely wouldn't have many consequences, seeing as how Connor had approached her. If any man took the time to come to you, he's a keeper.

At least, that's what a certain somebody had told Lauren, a very long time ago.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first work on ao3 after being on wattpad my whole life so take it easy if some shit's fucked up :) weekly updates!
> 
> find me on wattpad @hetdamon


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